August, 2011 § Leave a comment
Today is 09/04/2011.
This has been an edifying project and I couldn’t be happier that I decided to do it. If you’re all the way down here, reading the last days’ entries, then all I want to express to you is my utmost gratitude. It means the world. Please let me know that you’ve read this and give me your feedback and your insight.
After Iris and I went to the beach on that last day I was in San Luis, I ate soup with her family and packed my things.
My plan was this: get to La Ceiba, spend the night at Sharon’s house, take the bus to San Pedro the next morning, fly out of San Pedro, and arrive to Norfolk at 11:55pm on the 20th.
Today is 09/07/2011.
Edwin drove me to La Ceiba. I felt different with Edwin. It’s a different feeling.
We know that we get along and see eye-to-eye on many things. We enjoy one another’s company. We have good conversations. But, the fact of the matter is that we are still strangers. It’s likely that the moment Edwin dropped me off at Sharon’s house was the last moment we’ll share together in this life. Truthfully, I’ve had a lot of relationships in my life similar to this one. It’s an odd beauty-like abstract art. I kind of love it.
So we had a lot of meaningless meaningful conversation. I shared with Edwin my conflict about Honduras. The country that tortures me with its beauty and abuses me with its affection. I wrote this on the plane about Honduras:
What have I loved more than you?
What have I sacrificed more for than you?
And yet, you haunt me.
Your affection is abuse.
Your embraces torment me.
You taunt me endlessly.
Why must you persist?
A tad dramatic, if you ask me.
Edwin asked me if I would live on the coast in Colón forever. For some reason all of my romance with Honduras disappears when Edwin talks to me about it. He’s very practical. Plus, he doesn’t want to live on the coast much longer. He has plans to move back to Roatán as soon as possible. I started talking about staying for a while and maybe looking for a place to teach where I can get paid more. Edwin told me that on Roatán I would get paid better money than anywhere on the mainland.
Why did I act like money matters? Surely I must know that if money mattered, I would choose to teach in the States.
Edwin and I stopped at the gas station and he bought me a grape soda. When I’m with Edwin I feel like I’m with a friend from the States. It’s so weird.
He started mentioning that he has to drive back to San Luis only to drive to La Ceiba again the next day. I asked why he didn’t just stay the night in La Ceiba and he said it’s because his friend is out-of-town and he doesn’t want to stay alone in a hotel. I felt awkward. Did he want me to offer for him to stay with us? I guess I could have but… it would’ve looked a little too strange if I showed up to Sharon and Marvin’s house with some guy and asked if he could spend the night. He probably didn’t want me to offer. I doubt he would ever take me up on it. He’s not the type to accept favors. He was probably just lamenting.
I got him a little lost on the way to Sharon’s house and I’m glad that I did because it gave us a chance to spend our last minutes together teasing about being directionally-challenged rather than conversing.
He brought my bags into Sharon’s house for me and I introduced everyone. Awkward pause. Edwin interjects that he should go. I give him a friendly, Honduran kiss on the cheek and say, “Nos vemos!” (We’ll see each other!). Edwin exits stage left.